Encounter Quarterly: Summer 2004
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The Bonilla Family (from left to right) –
Juan Andres (16), Juan Carlos, Joaquin (4),
Daniel (12) & Paulina. |
Love Rediscovered
“Daddy, if you have faith, you will have mom
with you again.” The words of his 10-year old son
touched Juan Carlos, but the circumstances seemed
hopeless. As much as he wanted to believe it, he had
lost faith that it would ever be true. What hope was
there in being reunited with Paulina? The separation
was complete. The divorce final.
Juan Carlos never imagined that his
marriage would come to this. Things were different
in the beginning. He and Paulina started well.
Married in 1987, their first son, Juan Andres, was
born just one year later. A second son, Daniel, soon
followed.
It was shortly after Juan Andres’
birth that Juan Carlos heard the gospel and placed
his faith in Jesus Christ. As a family, they began
attending a local church in Quito.
In December 1991 Juan Carlos’ job
led the family to move from Quito to Guayaquil – the
port city of Ecuador.
When they returned to Quito the
following year, the Bonillas began looking for a new
church to attend. They had seen the El Batán Church
many times. One day they visited and soon began
attending regularly. But their involvement in church
masked an inward distancing from God.
“We were into the ‘Jesus’ life,”
reflects Juan Carlos, “and out of it at the same
time.”
As their relationship with the Lord
suffered, so too did their marriage. Communication
decreased. Frustration and separation grew.
“Couples go through certain crises
in their lives. This is common, but unfortunately
for us [as these crises came] we were a little away
from the Lord,” says Juan Carlos.
At the Breaking Point
By 1997, their marriage was at a
breaking point. On January 8, they separated. By
July they were divorced.
It was a difficult time for the
entire family, especially for their son Juan Andres.
Only 10 years old at the time, Juan Andres suffered
a great deal. But in spite of the seemingly hopeless
circumstances he continued to have faith.
“His faith was so big,” says Juan
Carlos. “At a certain point I didn’t believe that I
could get together again with my wife. He was
telling me all the time, ‘Daddy, if you have faith,
you will have mom with you again.’”
Despite his son’s assurances, Juan
Carlos lost faith that such a restoration could ever
occur.
Marriage Encounter
It was around this time that the El
Batán Church initiated a new ministry. The pastors
at the church had heard of a program called Marriage
Encounter developed by the Cordillera Church – a
sister Encounter with God congregation in Santiago,
Chile. Cordillera had taken a Catholic marriage
restoration program and reworked it for an
evangelical context. Members of the Cordillera
Church offered to come to Quito to help train the El
Batán leaders in how to implement their own Marriage
Encounter program.
They selected Valentine’s weekend as
the date for the first Marriage Encounter retreat in
Quito.
Knowing the Bonillas’ situation, one
of the El Batán pastors suggested that Juan Carlos
and Paulina should attend.
It would be a pivotal event in their
relationship with one another and with the Lord.
Love Rediscovered
“When I went with my wife,” says
Juan Carlos, “we had been separated for 14 months. I
was living my life and she was living hers. When we
got together we discovered that we still loved each
other. God gave us a new opportunity to make
everything new again, to forgive everything. We had
a chance not only to forgive; we had a chance to
forget everything – no matter what had happened in
our lives.”
Through the Marriage Encounter and
the subsequent follow-ups the Bonillas came to
realize that the hope for their marriage rested in
their relationship with Christ.
“We learned that we don’t have any
chance without Jesus Christ.
“We see now that our basic fault was
that we were away from the Lord.”
Their love rekindled, Juan Carlos
and Paulina remarried. The following year they
celebrated the birth of their third son, Joaquin.
Restoring Marriages
Today the Bonillas are actively
serving in the El Batán Church helping lead others
through the Marriage Encounter program. In His
grace, God is using the hardship they endured to
connect and minister to others in similar
circumstances.
“When we look back at our past we
can see that all of those experiences have enabled
us to share with other people in order to help
improve their lives.
“Being a part of this ministry is an
opportunity to pay back what we received. Through it
you can see God’s hand making the changes in the
lives of the couples that attend.”
It is a ministry making substantial
impact on the El Batán Church and its community. In
the first year the church held two Marriage
Encounters. Now they host four each year with about
30 couples attending each. More than 1,000 people
have participated.
“Not all solve their problems
through Marriage Encounter,” reports Juan Carlos.
Some people just quit. But 60-70% become part of the
church.”
“Luis Estevez, the pastor of our
church, says that the core of society is not a
family, it is a couple. If the couple is doing well,
the family is doing well, society is doing well.
This is the point at which we work. As we work with
couples, their families become stronger.”
A Bigger Picture
Through this process they are
discovering a bigger picture of what God has for
their lives.
“It’s very important that we be
factors of change,” says Juan Carlos. “We have to
create an impact in our environment, in our jobs and
in our families. It’s not only about going to
church. It’s not only going on Sundays. Every single
day we have to work here and there, in our offices,
in our homes, with our friends. That’s the only way
to follow the commands that God is telling us in His
Word.
“We have to preach. We have to tell
people. We have to share the good news and show them
that there is another way to change their lives.”
EQ Summer 2004
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